You look like you need some amazing experimental music. Here are a few albums I've recently been grooving:

[hint: if you click on the words, you can download the albums for free]

Nicolas Collins
It Was A Dark And Stormy Night (Trace Elements, 1992)

John Lennon & Yoko Ono
Unfinished Music No. 1: Two Virgins (Apple, 1968)

Morton Feldman
Crippled Symmetry (Col Legno, 1994)

Mike Patton
Adult Themes for Voice (1996, Tzadik)